It sure has been a while since i’ve written on my tumblr. I’ve been meaning to write, but whenever i think back to the 7 weeks i spent in thailand, it’s always so overwhelming and i can’t really make one coherent thought. my mind’s always all over the place… so it’s not really much of a surprise…
Thailand was truly an unforgettable experience. I never imagined how much God would challenge and grow me through this trip and how much he would break my heart for his people in Thailand.
I really didn’t have many expectations going to Thailand. I had never heard Thai spoken… never tasted Thai food… never seen Thai written… never even knew what the country looked like.. or where it was. All I knew was that sometime between Urbana and when I applied, I heard God telling me to go and I was excited.
It was my first time being on my own and by that I mean, away from my family or church. For the last 10ish years, I’ve been serving with the same people in my church and we know each other’s strength and weaknesses so well and we’re so blessed to have a range of gifts amongst us that we have a good system going. for example, not only am i terrified of public speaking (which means 3+ people) I’m terrible at it. So, justin… james.. belinda will do it. Or, belinda and I love working with kids and we automatically gravitate towards them if we’re so lucky to have kids around. But in Thailand, none of the comfortable niches I found myself in at home were there and I was challenged to do things that I was terrified of doing. Like teaching an English class. Granted, my class wasn’t too big.. but it was still scary. But it was so awesome to be challenged in this way because I knew that there was NO way anything I did in class was from me, but God working through me instead. It was humbling and amazing to know that I am too weak to do it on my own, to surrender it to God, and see our faithful God show up like He does. and not just in English classes did God show up in my weaknesses… but in a million other things… like leading worship… or building relationships with the kids without being able to speak Thai! God created us for His glory, blessed us with gifts, and allowed us to have our weaknesses and everything we have, we should give it up to God and we’ll be able to see God move in mighty ways.
Whenever I think back to the friendships we made with the kids who lived on the same street as us, my chest tightens and i even start to get a little teary. The thought of them growing up without Jesus is what does it for me. Seeing their little faces look at you with eyes that scream “someone love me!” makes me wish I was back there. I can’t make sure the kids grow up in the church… or keep the little girls away from a life of prostitution… but God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. and all of this has taught me to be faithful in my prayers for them. It stretches my faith to trust and know that my prayers are the best thing I can do for them since I’m back in the states and the Holy Spirit is definitely able. Be praying for the long term workers in Thailand who are continuing God’s work over there!
and of course, that’s not even the surface of all the amazingness. The words “break my heart for what breaks yours” have definitely changed forever.
Look at those eyes!
but he looked like this most of the time :P
Dai! sweeeeet girl
MahBhang :]
someone stepped on her pinky >.< ow!
Saturday school fun. “my God is so BIG!”
the lovely Am (:
